The Worst of NBA All-Star Weekend

The NBA All-Star Weekend had plenty of highlights. Dwight Howard bringing down the house in the dunk contest, Jason Kapono tying the record in the 3 point shooting contest, a close game, and perhapes more importantly the league and its players coming together in an effort to help rebuild the ravaged New Orleans community were just some of the highlights from an action packed weekend. There were also plenty of lowlights, so let's take a look.

The Dunk Contest Judges- Remember the year Kobe, MJ, Vince, Dominique, and DR. J were the judges? There's five guys who know what a good dunk is. I'm just wondering why in the hell Darryl Dawkins and Karl Malone were judging a slam dunk contest. The most creative thing Karl Malone did in his career was a left handed lay-up, while Darryl Dawkins is simply a guy no one remembers. Plus it doesn't help when Dawkins says in an interview following the contest that he was rooting for Dwight Howard. How does the birthday cake dunk only get a score of 46? That was the most creative gimmick dunk in the history of the contest. Sure, the superman dunk was cool, but he threw it in, so technically it wasn't even a dunk. The NBA should consider a criteria for scoring points in the dunk contest, instead of having washed up players hand out 10's to every cool dunk. And if you missed it, here's Gerald Green's birthday cake dunk.


Rudy Gay- What was the point of Rudy Gay going on youtube asking fans for suggestions on different dunks to do? If he did listen to the fans they must have suggested some pretty ordinary dunks, because I've seen Gay throw down better dunks in games.

Dwyane Wade- The laziest performance of the weekend easily goes to Wade, who really decided to take his time during the skills competition on Saturday night. Sure he screwed up, that happens, but he had people holding their breaths hoping for some kinda big throwdown at the end of his lackluster performance, and what does he do? He goes for a lay-up, and misses.

Kenny Smith- Is it just me or is Kenny Smith becoming one of the most annoying sports announcers? Everytime someone throw's down a dunk, he screams to the top of his lungs that it's the best dunk he has ever seen. Kenny has great opinions and analysis of the game, but had fans reaching for the advil all weekend long by yelling something rediculous every 10 seconds. Kenny Smith see's the best dunk he has ever seen 8 times every game.

Jason Kidd's Ugly Kid- Did anyone else find this 8 year old with a moustache extremely annoying. I did.

Pretty good weekend besides the above mentioned stuff. The NBA and MLB are probably tied for the best All-Star festivities, but there's always room for improvement.

By the way, here's an idea for a great dunk-Use a strip of duct tape to tape the ball to the backboard. Get a good running start, then rip the ball off the backboard and dunk it. It's probably harder than it sounds, but it would score a 50... Unless Darryl Dawkins was judging it.

-Joe Osborne

The Raptors have come a long way, but they're still far from the NBA's elite

It's hard to fault Bryan Colengelo for any of the work he's done to repair the one time laughing stock Toronto Raptors. When Colangelo took over, the team have had four straight losing seasons including a 27-55 record in the 2005-2006 season (Thanks to Rob Babcock and partially Vince Carter). Since that awful season things have a lot different in Raptor land. Colangelo dumped a few big contacts, did away with a few scrubs (mainly Rafael Arujo), and even managed to find a diamonds in the rough to improve to a first division championship last season, and a 28-23 record this season despite injuries to some key players.

When looking up and down the Raptors roster there's several glaring omisions. The team is comprised of a superstar in Chris Bosh, a soon to be superstar in Jose Calderon, and a bunch of above average role players. The main thing the Raptors lack is a wing player who can change the outcome of a game by spreading the floor by being able to consistently score from anywhere, thus opening up room for Chris Bosh, and being able to guard the other teams best shooting guard or small forward. Unfortunately, Anthony Parker and Jason Kopono don't fit this description. And the blame for not having such a player falls solely on the shoulders of Colangelo.

In the 2006 NBA Draft there was no consensus number one pick. It was up to Colangelo to figure out what to do with that pick, and he ended up picking a young Italian in the mold of Dirk Nowitzky named Andrea Bargnani. It was made well clear to Raptors fans and the rest of the NBA that Bargnani had the most potential of anyone in the draft. Meanwhile, arguably the two players with the rawest talent, Brandon Roy and Rudy Gay were selected sixth and eighth respectively.

A season and a half later Bargnani is amidst a huge sophomore slump averaging around 24 minutes, 3.5 rebounds, and 10 points a game. So far he's amounted to nothing better than an average 6th man, who has been largely inconsistent, and who rarely shows any passion while on the court. Brandon Roy on the other hand has enjoyed the success of leading the surprising Blazers to a 28-24 record in the tough Western Conference, while averaging close to 20 points, 6 assists and 5 rebounds per game. Oh yeah, he was also selected to play in the All-Star Game. As for Rudy Gay, he's managed to become one of the league's most exciting players. Coming out of college, critics challenged his heart, but nothing could be further from the truth now, as he's getting 20 points and 6 boards a game.

Looking at the stats, and the personalities of Bargnani, Roy, and Gay, it's obvious that Colangelo dropped the ball in the 06 Draft. Sure, Bargnani still has plenty of time to live up to that potential, but Roy and Gay are already on the road to being superstars while Bargnani is miles away. Bargnani plays with no fire, while the other two have developed into young leaders that a team can build around. Had Colangelo been able to see the future, the Raptors would have a game changing player running the wing, instead of a soft European who barely opens his mouth coming off the bench.

As for the rest of the roster, the Raptors are set at the point guard position. Jose Calderon is developing into one of the leagues best floor generals. He's fearless and he never turns the ball over. TJ Ford gives them a perfect 1-2 punch, especially if he can get back to full speed. The team did over pay for the un-athletic Jason Kopono, although he is one of the best pure shooters in the league. The sky's the limit for Jamario Moon, who the Raptors can hope will turn out to be like the Hawks Josh Smith. As for the inside, the Raptors need a legit garbage man who can give them a solid 30 minutes a game (is Charles Oakley still trying to make a comeback?). Kris Humphries is good, but he's more of an energy guy to come off the bench. And oh yes, Chris Bosh is the man, and will be for years to come.

The Raptors are the 5th best team in the NBA's inferior conference. That's not great, but it's not bad considering the rash of injuries they've had this season. Colangelo has done an exceptional job with the exception of the Bagnani pick. With their young talent and some cap space, the blueprints are clearly in place for the Raptors to one day be an elite force in the NBA. Like most things in life, you have to walk before you run, and the Raptors have a pretty good stride going.

Semi-Pro Preview.... Looks Damm Funny!

In Theatres Feb. 29.

A Man Named Gaylord

If you could go back and talk to your parents before they gave you a name, what would you tell them? Most people probably wouldn't change a thing about their name, but the fact of the matter is that there are a ton of horrendous names out there. For every few Steve's there's a Eugene, for every couple of Mike's there's a weirdo named Oliver, and for every few Tom's there's a poor guy who automatically gets labelled as a child molester just because his name is Lester. I could go on and on about all the bad first names that exist, but none of them compare to the man who has the worst, most humiliating name ever. This man is a member of the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, he's won over 300 games, and owns two Cy Young awards. So what's his name you ask? The name of this baseball legend is Gaylord Perry.

Looking at Gaylord Perry's career stats it's not hard to be impressed. In a 22 year career that started in 1962, Gaylord pitched for 8 different teams, he had 314 wins, 3534 strikeouts, and is one of only four pitchers to win a Cy Young in both the American and National League. And he also had a brother. The name of his was Jim. Could you imagine how pissed off you'd be if your parents named you Gaylord, and then gave your brother a name like Jim. How's that for favoritism?

I decided to do a little bit of research on Gaylord to figure out what kind of guy he was. According to http://www.baseball-almanac.com/ Gaylord truly lived up to his name as he was known for his blatant use of the spitball, the Vaseline ball, the Preparation H ball and sometimes the KY Jelly ball. A Gaylord and a tub of KY Jelly doesn't sound like a guy who used to strike people out for a living. Here's a few interesting quotes I found about Gaylord-

"He should be in the Hall of Fame with a tube of KY jelly attached to his plaque." - Gene Mauch

"When you walk by, he smells like a drugstore." - Billy Martin

Enough about Gaylord's baseball career. I'm just wondering why in the hell a parent would name their kid Gaylord. Imagine going through life constantly being teased about your sexual orientation. Stop for a minute and think about everything you've accomplished in your life. All the joy and success and fun times with friends. Now think about how much different your life would be if your name was Gaylord. I bet Gaylord Perry's life would have been much different if he didn't have the god given talent to pitch. I guess it just boggles my mind how a parent could name their child after a derogatory word for a homosexual. Some people are just weird I guess.

I know that my name isn't that unique, and it's about as normal as it gets. I'm happy that my name isn't Gaylord and that people don't call me a gay lord, but I bet Gaylord Perry is happy that he's lived a life that thousands can only dream of. It's impossible to go through life without having some bad mixed in with all the good. Gaylord Perry has had a pretty impressive career, it's just too bad his name is Gaylord.

Get Cho Popcorn Ready!!!

After an extended hiatus due to a bizarre illness and having my passport challenged in Venezuela, Sports Storm will be back and better than ever beginning on Monday! Make sure you check in next week to find out what athlete has the gayest name ever, plus analysis on some football game next Sunday, and a preview and predictions for UFC 82. This is one of the busiest times of the year in the sports world, and Sports Storm will be all over it like the Bengals at a whore house.

Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva

What's up everybody? I know I haven't been posting lately, but I've gone through some pretty rough times these past few weeks. I was actually on the verge of committing suicide, and then I found out that Scottie Pippen is playing pro ball in Finland. I now have a reason to live. Actually, I'm working on a whole new page for Sports Storm. It's annoying and very confusing trying to set up an actual web page. FTP, HTML, CSS, and a bunch of other crap I'm trying to figure out. Anyways, things should be up and running again full time soon. In the meantime, here's a great fight from last months UFC event. If you haven't seen it, you should definitely check it out.



Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uBH0WjPtRA&feature=related

Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p25_gvfHhnA&feature=related

Part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icfYvmRzVcA&feature=related

Chris Bosh for All-Star

Who knew he had personality? Either way, he'll get my vote.