Bandwagon Boneheads

It seems to happened once every year. No I'm not talking about doing your taxes or pesky June bugs (Although it's just as annoying), I'm talking about the herds of so-called baseball fans who jump on the Red Sox bandwagon every time they make the playoffs.

With the World Series set to begin this evening, this years team is no exception. People come out of no where and declare their love for a team who they probably can't even name five players. Where are these fans during the regular season, and why does it seem like the Red Sox attract more bandwagon jumpers than any other team in sports?

It probably dates back to a few years ago, when the Sox had their improbable World Series run, and came back from an 0-3 deficit to beat the evil Yankees. Back then it was the fashionable thing to cheer for the Sox to break the curse, just like it would be alright to cheer for the Cubs if they're ever able to have some playoff success. But come on now, the Sox got their ring, and come playoff time they're still every one's new favorite team. Give me a break. I never thought I could dislike any team as much the Yankees, but I think I do now. Actually sorry, I hate the Toronto Maple Leafs more but that's a story for another day.

And speaking of the Yankees, they're probably the main reason most people choose to cheer for the Red Sox. It's well publicized that the Yankees spend a hundred gazillion dollars each year on their roster, and that's one of the reasons people hate them so much. But people seem to forget, that the Red Sox only spend a few pennies less than the Yanks each season to have one of the most outlandish team salaries in sports history. But I guess that's ok, right Red Sox fans?

If there's one thing that bugs me as much as a Sox bandwagon jumper, it's a Red Sox fan who has an excuse for everything. One of my favorite sports stories from the summer is when 'The Golden Boy of Boston' Tom Brady was spotted wearing a Yankees ball cap, and Red Sox fans say he was simply wearing it as a disguise not to be recognized in public. Wow.

Are the Red Sox a good team? Nope, they're a great team. It's just flat out annoying that so many people who know nothing about baseball decide to cheer for them and rub it in when they win. So many Red Sox haters would love to see the Rockies sweep the Sox and shut up the bandwagon jumpers. But not me. I'd love to see the Rockies blowout the Sox 10-0 in game seven at Fenway Park. I bet the wagon would be pretty empty after that.
-Joe Osborne

The Fallout of the Fish

With all the talk of a perfect 16-0 season by the New England Patriots, people seem to forget about another team who could set an NFL record for their record. No, I'm not talking about the Colts possibly going 16-0 (because they won't), I'm talking about the Miami Dolphins finishing the season 0-16. And oh yes, it could happened!

The last team to have a win less season was the 1976 Buccaneers who had an 0-14 record. It's been over 30 years since a team has done the unthinkable and gone win less for the season, but here's why Miami could put up a big goose egg come the end of the season.

Going into the season Miami looked like a team who might be able to win five or six games. With an over the hill QB, a weak offensive line, no big time game breakers on offense, and a secondary that ranked among the leagues worst, Miami was a shoe in to have another top ten draft pick.

Things only got worse for Miami after loosing their over the hill QB Trent Green for the season a few weeks ago. Even though his best years were behind him Green still had some skills, and he had a veteran presence on the field. Now things look even bleaker at QB. Although Cleo Lemon has shown some potential, he's made costly turnovers and he doesn't to have what it takes to play great in close games.

The Dolphins made it clear that their in rebuilding mode by trading perhaps their only big game receivers Chris Chambers at the trade deadline. The teams best receiver now appears to be Mart Booker, who would be lucky to be the fourth receiver on a playoff team. It looks like the Dolphins will have to wait to Ted Ginn to develop, as he hasn't even come close to proving himself worthy of his 8th overall draft selection.

Their secondary is weaker than a senior citizen crawling outta bed to use the bathroom at three in the morning. After major injuries to Will Allen and Reynaldo Hill, teams will easily exploit the Dolphins through the air.

And if the Camel's back wasn't already broken, it's spine just got severed with Ronnie Brown now out for the season. The Fish must now turn to Jesse Chatman who was cut last year for being to fat, and rumour has it that Ricky Willaims might be back... If he can step outta the hot box.

All this combined with an aging front seven on defense is a recipe for disaster. But they do have Joey Porter! Yeah right, what a waste of space he turned out to be. The usually consistent Zac Thomas appears to have lost a step this season, and fresh off a great season Jason Taylor just isn't the same player.

The Dolphins could get a win this season, but it's gonna be tough. Even the Bills and Jets seem a few steps ahead of the Dolphins, but if they hope to win it will be against one of these teams. Their record stands at 0-7 and with a game Sunday against the Giants it looks like they'll start 0-8. On the bright side, Cam Cameron will get to screw up another high pick in the '08 draft.
-Joe Osborne