Straight Up Made Up

Lebron records triple double despite being quintuple teamed for majority of game

The Cleveland Cavaliers earned a hard fought 111-106 victory over the Indiana Pacers yesterday, despite the fact that Lebron James was quintuple teamed by the Pacers for the majority of the game. “The strategy going in was to put all of our players on Lebron whether he had the ball or not” said Pacers coach Jim O'Brien. “While it seemed to be working at times, covering him with five players just wasn't enough, and unfortunately due to NBA rules we're not allowed having a sixth man on the court. That could have been the difference maker”. The decision to quintuple team Lebron could become a popular trend this season, as the Cavaliers roster is now mostly made up of members of a local Knights of Columbus group. Cleveland GM Danny Ferry says the new look Cavs roster makes plenty of sense. “What's the point of paying NBA caliber players to be on your team when you have a guy like Lebron? The guys from the Knights of Columbus make almost all of their wide open layups, and all we have to do is give them a small donation at Christmas. We're saving a ton of money, and we're still winning ball games.” James doesn't seem to mind the extra attention he's getting on the court, saying this is something he'll have to go through if he wants to be the best of all time. It wasn't all good news for the Cavs however, as Herb Palmer, a 64 year old power forward, and a member of the Knights of Columbus for 17 years, was on the receiving end of a violent charging foul by Pacers center Jermaine O'Neal. He was brought to the hospital and pronounced dead at the scene. The Cavs will hope to continue their winning ways when they take on the Boston Celtics tomorrow night.

Fan plans to laminate ticket stubs

August 7th at Camden Yards in Baltimore was just an ordinary day at the ball park for most fans, but not for 37 year old Patrick Spence, who is a produce manager at a local grocery store. While most were enjoying the opening game of a three game set with the Seattle Mariners, Patrick was attending his first ever ball game, and describes the events that led up to it to be 'freakish'. “Me and my common law partner we're just walking down the street close to Camden Yards, and a guy offered us two tickets for twenty dollars. It came out of no where! A complete stranger offered us these tickets for a great price. I was blown away, and just said 'what the hell, let's do it'". It wasn't much of a game as the Orioles lost 10-3, but Patrick is now a lifetime fan. “The highlight of the game for me was when Melvin Mora came close to hitting a home run. As soon as it came off his bat, we all thought it was gone. I was memorized and had feelings of excitement I've never had before. The ball ended up being about 10 feet short and was caught by the right fielder, but still, it was pretty crazy”. Following the game Patrick couldn't contain his excitement, and apparently is still on cloud nine. His common law partner suggested he have the ticket stubs that have been on display on their fridge laminated, and Patrick agreed. “I haven't decided if I want to get them laminated at a big box store like Staples or a locally owned place. I guess it depends on price and quality of service. I'll have to ask around I guess.” Patrick plans to attend more baseball games in the future and says if things go well with the laminating, he'll consider having the ticket stubs framed.

Strahan mistakes fan for Alfonso Ribeiro

During the fourth quarter of a lopsided game against the Minnesota Vikings, Giants defensive end Michael Strahan found himself in a foul mood sitting on the bench, when something in the crowd suddenly drew his attention. “Hey, isn't that that guy... You know, Carleton from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? He's right there in the first row wearing a red jacket.” he said to teammate R.W. McQuarters. “Oh, you mean Alfonso Ribeiro.” responded McQuarters. “There's no way that's him, that guy is like 50 years old”. After hearing the argument Assistant Special Teams Coach Thomas McGaughey made his way over and agreed with McQuarters than the fan was not Alfonso Ribeiro. “Nope, Carleton was much shorter, and I'm sure he'd wear something better than a pullover Starter jacket”. Strahan then began to doubt his original thoughts that the man was actually Alfonso Ribeiro, but was still not completely convinced. Strahan began to analyze the man's facial features, when suddenly the man noticed he was being starred at. The excited man waved to Strahan, and it was at that point he realized that the man was not Alfonso Ribeiro. Strahan gave the man an awkward half wave, and an up-nod as he thought of what could have been. “Wow, that really blew my mind. That guy looked so much like Carleton. He should go on one of those reality TV shows.” Strahan then attempted to find a camera to take a picture of the man but was unsuccesful.

-Joe Osborne
*The above stories are completly fictional and intended solely for humor.

Video of the Day: The Best of Mike Tyson Talking

This video contains abrasive language, so if you're offended by swearing you should probably loosen up a bit and learn how to laugh.

Top Story lines of the NBA season

-By Weekend Columnist Gilles Gallant
The decline of Shaq and the uphill battle for the Heat

The Miami Heat have looked like they’re running around in slow motion. For the first two weeks of the season, the 2006 champs remind me of the year after the Lakers won their 3rd championship. Shaq was injured at the beginning of the year and the Lakers struggled to make the playoffs. The only difference is Shaq is 36 years old now and is not a game changing dominant force he used to be. Dwyane Wade is no question a top 5 player in the league when healthy. However, his reckless style of play is to his disadvantage. It gives him an edge which separates him from other talent but makes him more probable for injury because of the pounding. If Wade’s return can rejuvenate Shaq to becoming a third of what he was, they should sneak into the playoffs

The Celtics Trio and will they sustain it

As one of the “Haters” that predicted the Celtics couldn’t make it work, I’m still not jumping ship. But I will admit this, they are F*#%n’ good. However like any basketball preacher will tell you, legends are born/made in the playoffs and the NBA finals. As seen in their first loss of the season against Orlando, a team can make the Celtics run out of gas. This means they are beatable which then leads to weakness. Two facts people are neglecting is Boston right now has played most of their games at home so far and the talent imbalance between conferences make the trio look more daunting in the East. So instead of facing a weekly task of Grizzlies, Jazz, Warriors that KG is used to, he instead see teams in the East like Atlanta, Charlotte, New Jersey with an occasional dose of the Raptors and Pistons to provide competition. Their road success and bench play (or lack thereof) will tell the tale of whether they flame out in the first round or make the Finals. No Wonder KG is a leading candidate for MVP.

Marbury and the Knicks – Blow it up and start over

When will this team be euthanized and start over? I’ve been wondering for a long time and it’s sad to say it will get worse before it gets better. Although the Knicks have dumped some considerable assets from their payroll (Jalen Rose, Steve Francis, Allan Houston, Anfernee Hardaway), for every move that seems to right the ship, another bone-head one follows. Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry are not the answer to the Knicks woes and when your point guard has a bigger head than the garden he plays in, you’ve got a problem. Some would say it isn’t a good idea to cut ties with Marbury, but as a general manager you have to ask yourself if this player is making your team better. The Knicks are currently 2-9 and not one bright spot has emerged. Pity, with all the talent you could almost have two NBA starting lineups

Kevin Durant – Buzzer beaters and many more where it came from

The Sonics only hope at revenue and points on the scoreboard, Kevin Durant has looked as good as advertised. It’s amazing to think a 19 years old, frail 6’10’’ ball of basketball talent is making an impact in the game. When Lebron came in, it was a different story as he was already in NBA physical shape but Durant looks like the wind could catch him the wrong way and float off. Is it just me or does he look like a more talented and coordinated version of Manute Bol? Either way, the kid has got game and he has proven in the first 12 games of the season that he will only improve. Barring injury he should easily run away with the Rookie of the Year award.

Who will start in the all star game?

Tim Duncan won’t be starting in NBA All Star game? Man, the organizers of the balloting almost screwed that up. Thankfully they have changed their minds and have shifted Duncan back to power forward in Western Conference balloting. Originally he was listed as a center which would’ve made him bumped for…..the country of China. That’s right; the whole country of China will be on Yao Ming’s side and would have snubbed the best player of the A.J. (After Jordan) generation his rightful spot. The real question now is could Iverson challenge Nash or Bryant for their spot? All three players are performing at a high level so it could lead to someone getting bumped on the other end of the PG/SG spectrum looking for their first all star berth, for example Deron Williams or Chris Paul.

The NBA is now in an every other day grind with teams looking to get some wins early to establish themselves as contenders. Which teams emerge will be interesting. The Hornets and Magic are hot and the Heat and the Bulls have looked out of sync. The usual forces are going strong like Phoenix, Dallas, San Antonio (coincidentally?). Questions for the weekend are who do you want in Dunk Contest this year and who will win? Since it’s usually reserved for younger players, my bet is on Sean Williams from the Nets if he enters. Enjoy your weekend.

Friday's Fives

The following is the Top and Bottom Five sports related things of the past 7 days.

Top Five

1. Brett Favre/Packers: In two games this week Favre threw for 599 yards, six touchdowns, no interceptions, and a combined 127.5 QB rating. The Packers are on a six game winning streak, are third in the league in total offense, and sixth best in points allowed. This is easily the feel good story of the NFL season, and yes, the Packers are for real.

2. Jimmy Rollins: It seems like a guy has to hit 50 home runs to win an MVP award. Not the case with Rollins who won the National League MVP this week. Check out these stats- 212 hits, 30 home runs, 20 triples, 94 RBI's, 41 stolen bases, plus a Gold Glove at Shortstop. Now that's a complete player.

3. Michael Beasley: Has anyone seen this kid play? The Kansas State forward averaged 29.3 points and 15.3 rebounds in three games this week. Wow, and we all thought Kevin Durant was good.

4. Phoenix Suns: The Suns have set the league on fire lately as they're currently riding a seven games win streak. Nash, Amare, and Marion are the best threesome in the NBA (sorry Celtics fans). The Suns currently lead the league with 108.1 points per game. Big shock there.

5. Marcus Camby: This guy is a rebounding machine! Camby doesn't get noticed as much because he plays on a team with Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony but in his last three games he had 58 rebounds. Camby currently leads the league with 15.3 boards and 3.4 blocks per game. The Camby man can.

Bottom Five

5. Minnesota Twins: The Twins are one of the cheapest teams in baseball. They let their most exciting player, Torri Hunter sign with the Angels, and now it looks like their best pitcher, Johan Santana, who happens to be the best pitcher in baseball, is on the trade block because they don't want to pay him what he deserves.

4. Gilbert Arenas: Agent Zero is on the shelf for three months after re-injuring the same knee that caused him to miss time last year. So much for all that smack he talked before the season, and so much for the Wizards playoff hopes.

3. Detroit Lions: After a strong start the Lions have now lost three in a row. Whatever happened to that dynamite offense we seen in the first few games of the season? The Lions are now in a must win situation for the rest of the season if they hope to make the playoffs.

2. New York Knicks: This team is in rough shape. A coach who doesn't know how to coach, an owner who doesn't have a clue, drama around every corner, and to top it all off- an eight game losing streak! I think it's easy to say that the Knicks have been one of the worst and most dysfunctional sports franchises of the past few years, and most of the blame is on the shoulders of Isiah Thomas.

1. Michael Vick: The former NFL QB was back in the news again this week after he 'surrendered' to police to go to prison a few weeks early. The stupid thing about this is that people in the media were giving him credit for 'doing the right thing', just like they did when he 'apologized' . I guarantee Vick would still be involved in dog fighting if he hadn't been busted.

Somewhere in the Middle: So it looks like Lil' Romeo, son of Rap mogul Master P will be playing division one basketball at USC next year. If his ball skills end up being as bad as his rapping he'll end up with splinters in his ass all next season. I wonder if Lil' Romeo resents Lil' Bow Wow because he got to star in that horrible basketball movie about ten years ago. Probably not.

Have a great weekend!
-Joe Osborne

Video of the Day: Mr. T Singing About Mothers

I guess this is kinda sports related. Either way it's one of the funniest things I've seen in awhile.

Dream Fights

The following is a list of fights that any UFC fan would love to see. Some of them don't stand a chance of ever happening because of weight class restrictions, but some on this list have a realistic chance of going down sometime in the future. Let's get ready to rumble!

Mauricio 'Shogun' Rua vs. Anderson Silva: This fight would probably never go down because the two train together and are good friends. Silva has discussed the possibility of moving up to 205 lbs., and he probably will if he can beat Dan Henderson in March. If Silva is the best all around striker in MMA, then Shogun isn't too far behind. Both have beaten the crap out of opponents in the past and will continue to do so in the future. For those who don't know much about Shogun, he's considered one of the best in the world, and he holds a devastating victory over Rampage Jackson. This would be one of the best fights ever.

Randy Couture vs. Rampage Jackson: Couture has had some of his best fights at 205 lbs, while Rampage is in his prime. Both fighters are accomplished wrestlers, and are great with their hands. If Couture can make his way back to the UFC, this would be a fun fight to watch. There's no clear number one heavyweight contender, and the same goes for the light heavyweight division. Why not give them a boat load of money and have a real champion vs. champion showdown?

Andrei Arlovski vs. Wanderlei Silva: Arlovski has been on the shelf as of late trying to figure out his contract situation, while Silva is preparing for the fight of his life against Chuck Liddell. Both fighters love to stand, and someone would get knocked out for sure. Even though Silva has fought at different weight classes before, he probably won't be moving up anytime soon as there's plenty of good fights at 205lbs.

Rich Franklin vs. Forrest Griffin: Even though he got his ass handed to him twice by Anderson Silva, Franklin is still a very good fighter. He should consider in move up to 205 lbs. Griffin is on top of the world after a victory against Shogun, and is awaiting a possible title shot. Even though their styles contrast a bit this would still be an exciting fight to watch.

Matt Hughes vs. Josh Koscheck: These two guys have many things is common. They're both in the same weight class, they both lost to George St. Pierre, and for the most part they're very disliked by fans. Why not lock these two grappler's in a cage and see who's better? This fight could very well happen in 2008, depending on what happens between Hughes and Matt Serra next month.

Kevin Bacon vs. Cecil Fielder in a last man standing match: This match would result in a double disqualification as Bacon would expose himself to the crowd, and Fielder would refuse to even stand up out of his wheel chair.

Sure, most of these fights probably will never happen, but it's fun to think about it. Let me know in the comment section who you think would win these fights, and also tell me of some fights you'd love to see. Happy Thanksgiving to any Americans visiting the site today, and make sure to check back tomorrow for Friday's Fives and a video that will have you laughing well into the weekend.
-Joe Osborne

Video of the Day: A Real American

It's weird that someone took the time to make this.