Go Play Somewhere Else

Trade demands. We hear them all the time. Athletes sacrifice looking like huge babies for a chance at playing in a better situation. Some athletes choose to speak up when they're not happy, while others decide to suck it up and play out their contract. Here's a few players who's lives and careers could improve drastically if they'd demand a trade and end up on another team.

Alexander Ovechkin: The Russian Assassin is the most exciting and explosive player in the NHL, but the team he plays for is among the worst in the league for attendance. When the Caps are on the road, they sell out arenas because real fans want to see Ovechkin play, but people in Washington just don't care. Both Ovechkin and the NHL would greatly benefit if he were playing in a major hockey city. The NHL promotes Ovechkin as one of the 'faces' of the league, it's just too bad he plays on a pathetic team, who probably shouldn't even have a franchise.

Andre Iguodala: Iggy is expected to be 'the man' on the Sixers, but he's much better suited to be a second option. The Sixers are in rebuilding mode, and it appears they will be for awhile. Carrying this lousy team on his back will only result in bitterness, and a low shooting percentage due to taking the majority of the teams shots. Imagine Iguodala flying down the wing playing with one of the league's best point guards, and having someone else to attract double teams. He'd be an even bigger highlight machine than he is now.

Jason Bay: The Pittsburgh Pirates have been rebuilding their team for the past 15 years. Well, it appears that way. People don't even know who Jason Bay is because he's playing for one of sports most insignificant franchises. Bay has shown over the past few seasons that he's one of the games most complete players. His career would benefit immensely if he played for a team where he could be surrounded by talent, and have some decent protection. Try to name three other players on the Pirates. It's not easy!

Lebron James: Carmelo has A.I., Nash has Marion and Amare, Pierce has Allen and Garnett, Lebron has... Anderson Varejao? All the major contenders in the league have more than one perennial all-star, but that's not the case with the Cavs. They've had a few years to surround King James with some talent, and they've done a horrible job at doing so. Donyell Marshall, Larry Hughes, and Drew Gooden are just a few of the 'big' names they've added in the Lebron era. People jumped for joy when Varejao returned to the court this season to give Lebron help. Give me a break, Varejao isn't even as good as Kris Humphries of the Raptors. The bottom line is Lebron will need some talent around him if he wants to win championships. Kobe realized he can't get it done all by himself, and Lebron will realize that too. Lebron probably won't demand a trade anytime soon, but it's hard to imagine him in a Cavs uniform once his contract expires.

Carson Palmer: Palmer is the third best passer in the league, and not too far behind Brady and Manning. His stats don't necessarily show this though, because he plays on one of sports most unstable franchises. Palmer is a classy guy with a great work ethic, but he shares a locker room with a bunch of bone heads who can't keep themselves out of handcuffs. Palmer has the potential to be a future legend, but he'll have to be in another uniform to do so.

Grimace: How's is Grimace supposed to get any attention when he's riding the coat tails of Ronald McDonald? The only time he's in the spotlight is when he's named as an accomplice in one of the Hamburglar's crimes, or when he's rumored to be in a gay relationship with Patrick from Sponge Bob Square Pants. There's plenty of fast food restaurants that don't have a mascot. Grimmace should look to branch out before he ends up on death row after being blamed for a murder committed by the Hamburglar.
-Joe Osborne

Tuesday's Top Ten: Best Goal Scorers in the NHL

Nothing gets a sports fan more excited than a highlight reel goal. Well, maybe a game breaking touchdown does, or a monster home run, or maybe a posterizing dunk, or... The point is, fans love goals. The NHL changed the rules so we'd see more of them. What makes a goal so exciting is that it can unexpectedly happen in a split second, or we can see it develop and already know the result before the puck hits the net. Let's see who makes my list of the top ten goal scorers in the NHL.

10. Jaromir Jagr: His production may be a little off this season due to nagging injuries, but he's unstoppable at 100%. This is Jagr's 17th season in the NHL. In all of those season except his rookie year he has scored 30 or more goals. That's incredible, and the definition of consistent.

9. Martin St. Louis: The 5'9'' winger seems to always be in the right place at the right time. He has 30 or more goals the past four seasons, and he appears to be well on track again this year with 12.

8. Marian Hossa: He seems to go largely unnoticed due to playing with flashier players with big personalities, but make no mistake about it, he's one of the best in the league. He scored 45 goals last season as well as 45 in the 2002-2003 season. He's probably the best player in the league at scoring goals off of face-offs.

7. Sidney Crosby: Uneducated hockey fans would expect Sid the Kid to be higher on this list, but he's actually more of a play maker than a sniper. He's still great at putting the puck in the back of the net though. Watch his highlights and you'll see he can score anyway or anyhow. From his knees, on his back, batting pucks out of the air. He'd be higher on this list if he was more selfish.

6. Jarome Iginla: A real force on the ice, and very hard to stop. Iginla is a true power forward that has scored 35 goals or more five seasons in a row. Imagine how much better he'd be if he had some actual offensive talent around him.

5. Henrik Zetterberg: So far this season he's the NHL's most improved player. No one scores prettier breakaway goals. He has so many tricks up his sleeve, and routinely embarrasses goalies. He has 24 goals in 33 games this season, which is phenomenal by today's standards.

4. Vincent Lecavalier: This guy can score from anywhere on the ice. He has pin point accuracy when he's in close, or he can rip one from the blue line. He led the league with 52 goals last season, and is only showing signs of getting better with 22 so far this season.

3. Alexander Ovechkin: Possibly the league's most exciting player, playing on one of the lousiest teams, Ovechkin is a one man gang on the ice. No player in the league does so much by himself. In his first two seasons he's scored an impressive 98 goals. He's so good at creating scoring opportunities for himself and will only get better.

2. Dany Heatley: The Senator's sharp shooter has scored 50 goals two seasons in a row. He's an incredible finisher, with close to a 20% shooting percentage this season. He makes things look remarkably easy. A goalie will know what he's gonna do, he'll do it anyways, and score.

1. Ilya Kovalchuk: This man can do it all. He has the accuracy of Heatley and the moves of Zetterberg. When he's breaking down the wing, it's practically a given that he's gonna snap the puck top shelf and score, and goalies have no answer for him. He leads the league with 26 goals so far this season, and has scored 202 in five full seasons. It's rare that a player who gets between 70 to 100 points a season to have more goals than assists. Kovalchuk always finishes the season with more goals. He's a pure goal scorer, and he's better than anyone else in the league at doing it.

Close but no cigar: Joe Sakic, Evgeni Malkin, Pavel Datsyuk, Rick Nash, Daniel Alfredson.
-Joe Osborne

Jim Rome is Burning

Video Courtesy of ESPN

Friday's Fives

Top Five

1.Steve Nash: In his last five games the Suns point guard has averaged 15.4 assists and has been perfect from the free throw line. On Wednesday night against the Jazz he had 29 points, 11 assists, 6 rebounds, and 1 chipped tooth. This guy is good, not too mention pretty damn tough.

2. Joffrey Lupul: After scoring just two points in his last eight games, he had three goals and three assist on Tuesday night against the Penguins.

3. Detroit Red Wings: Detroit is very quietly having another great season. They lead the league with a 22-6 record and in their last 10 games they're 7-1-2. By the way, how good are Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk? These two guys embarrass goaltenders and defensemen on a regular basis.

4. New England Patriots: After a few close calls against the Eagles and Ravens, the Pats got back to normal by laying the smack down on the Steelers. They were clicking on all cylinders, and look well on their way to a perfect season. I feel bad for the Jets this weekend. Actually, I don't, it should be fun watching them get their asses handed to them.

5. Portland Trail Blazers: Yes, the Blazers have made the good part of this list. The team has now won five games in a row, including wins against Utah and Golden State. If they can keep this core group of young players together they have a very bright future, and Greg Oden is still waiting in the wings.

Bottom Five

5. Pittsburgh Penguins: How mediocre have they looked this season? They've looked pathetic their past few games, especially in an 8-2 loss to the Flyers. To make matters worse, their starting goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury is injured and will be out for six to eight weeks. Ouch!

4. Detroit Lions: Speaking of bad teams, what the hell happend to the Lions? They started the season 6-2, but have now lost five games in a row. It looks like they'll have to wait another year to not make the playoffs. By the way, how many life's does Matt Millen have?

3. Penny Hardaway: Shaq's first sidekick was cut this week by the Miami Heat so they could make room for Luke Jackson. Who? Has any athlete in recent memory had a bigger fall then Penny? He was easily as big as Lebron before injuries derailed his career.

2. Bobby Petrino: What a chump this guy is. Petrino did his best Nick Saban impression and quit on his team to go back to college. What makes Petrino worse is that he quit on the Falcons with three games left in the season, only 13 games into a five year contract. Why would anyone want a coach with zero integrity?

1. Roger Clemens: Well, it looks like Barry Bonds won't be the only legend who might have trouble getting into the Hall of Fame. It appears Rocket Roger had his rocket fuel injected directly into his ass with a syringe. No big shock, it just gives people another reason to hate him.

Somewhere in the Middle: Is anyone really surprised that John Rocker was included on the list of steroid users? The guy would do a full sprint from the bullpen to the mound every time he was called in to pitch. Good for him though for being able to keep his name in the news.

Have a great weekend!

-Joe Osborne

The Mitchell Report Named Names - Here They Are!

The long awaited Mitchell Report was released today naming a lengthy list of former and current Major League Baseball players that have been linked to performance enhancing drugs such as steroids and HGH. The most prominent name on the list was Roger Clemens who reportedly began using steroids at the end of the 1998 season. The list also included current Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte, and All-Star second basemen Brian Roberts of the Baltimore Orioles.

Other players included on the list:Barry Bonds(obviously), Gary Sheffield, Troy Glaus, Gary Matthews Jr., Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons, Mo Vaughn, David Justice, Paul Lo Duca, Eric Gagne, Glenallen Hill, Gregg Zaun, Rondell White, Hal Morris, Todd Hundley, Larry Bigbie, Lenny Dykstra, David Segui, Kevin Brown, Mike Lansing, Wally Joyner, Jeremy Giambi, Benito Santiago, Denny Neagle, Ron Villone, Fernando Vina, Todd Pratt, Jack Cust, Matt Williams, John Rocker, Paul Byrd, F.P. Santangelo and Randy Velarde.

As you can see the list included some pretty big names. Whether you care or not about steroid use, the fallout from this is gonna be huge. Should Clemens not be voted into the Hall of Fame now? What about the records players have set and awards they have won? Let the debates begin. This is a big huge mess for Major League Baseball. My advice for commissioner Bug Selig - Retire! That probably won't happen, but whatever happens, Major League Baseball and these players will be in the headlines all winter long.

-Joe Osborne

Blackhawks and Panthers Combine Teams to Become 'The Black Panthers'

In a cost saving move, The Chicago Blackhawks and Florida Panthers of the NHL will merge their teams into one, and will now be known as 'The Black Panthers'. The newly formed team also announced that they have traded for Donald Brasher, Georges Laraque, Jerome Iginla, Jamal Mayers, Ray Emery, Anson Carter, and Kevin Weeks. The team also announced that former NHL goaltender Fred Braithwaite will come out of retirement to serve as a third goaltender. “This is a groundbreaking day for the NHL,” said newly appointed head coach Rev. Al Sharpton. “When Black Panthers are in town, questions will be answered and there will be a price to pay.” To fill the remainder of their roster, the team has invited players from the NBADL and members of the Wu-Tang Clan to an open tryout.

At The End Of The First Quarter

The 2007-08 NBA season is now a quarter done, and needless to say this season has provided plenty of intrigue and excitement. No one has broken any records, scored 81 points, or ran into the crowd to fight fans, but there has been plenty of competitive games, breakout player and teams, and breathtaking highlights. Here's a few observations from the season so far, and a look ahead to what we can look forward to.

-The Bulls should have traded for Kobe Bryant. The team is 7-12 and looks extremely disoriented. The team has been manhandled by their competition so far this season, and with the exception of beating the Pistons twice, they've only managed to beat lottery bound teams. They should have pulled the trigger when they had their chance, as the Lakers probably won't be trading Kobe anytime soon. If the Bulls miss the playoffs they should consider some major front office shake ups for letting Kobe slip through their fingers.

-Dwight Howard is the best center in the league and will be for a long time. In his fourth NBA season, Howard's tremendous potential has reached fruition as he's now one of the NBA's best players. Howard does exactly what a center is supposed to do, and he does it better than anyone else. He leads the league in rebounds, he blocks shots, and he shoot for a very high percentage. Howard is just as important to the Magic as Lebron is to the Cavs or Nash is to the Suns.

-The Celtics are the best team in the league. Before the season started a lot of people doubted the Celtics, and didn't consider them a serious contender. Well, a 17-2 record should erase any doubts anyone had. Skeptics will say that they've had an easy schedule so far, but so what, they're 17-2. The 'Big Three' have done an excellent job sharing the ball, and the team has put defense first. Baring any major injuries, the good times will continue to roll in beantown.

-The Knicks suck. No team in sports is a bigger waste of talent. The team has so much individual talent, but as a team they're horrible. The team is filled with selfish players who play one on one basketball, and has a head coach who's legacy is tarnished night after night. There's two things the Knicks don't understand- team work, and the concept of rebuilding. Instead of trading away draft picks for Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph and building the team around ball hogs like Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford the Knicks should have started from scratch. And oh yeah, they should fire Isiah Thomas.

Other observations in brief: The Warriors are very fun to watch, the Rockets are a very average team, the Heat won't make the playoffs unless they can swing a major deal, the Hornets and Magic look great, the Raptors have a very deep bench, and Chris Kaman is the most underrated player in the league.

Here's who should start in the All-Star Game based on their stats and contribution to their teams so far this season.

EAST WEST
C- Dwight Howard C- Marcus Camby
F- Lebron James F- Shawn Marion
F- Kevin Garnett F- Carlos Boozer
G- Jason Kidd G- Baron Davis
G- Paul Pierce G- Steve Nash

The season is still young, but unlike most other sports the NBA seems somewhat easy to predict. Even though some things are a given, I'm sure there's still a few surprises in store and plenty of on and off court excitement to come. Enjoy the second quarter of the season, and I'll be sure to take another in-depth look at the league at the All-Star Break.

-Joe Osborne