2008 UFC Preview

2007 was a groundbreaking year for the UFC. It was the year of the upset, full of fresh faces, and the invasion of Pride. It was also a year of extreme highs and extreme lows. Rampage Jackson, Anderson Silva, and Roger Huerta made their presence felt with exhilarating performances, while we also witnessed the decline of Chuck Liddell, and the very ugly fallout of Randy Couture. The last few UFC Pay Per View events have been very weak, but UFC 79 on December 29th should make up for that. 2007 will go out with a bang with two of the most anticipated matches ever. The UFC will hope to carry that momentum into 2008, which is shaping up quite nicely. Let's take a look at some of the matches that we will see, and some that we might see.

Fights that we will see

B.J. Penn vs. Joe Stevenson: The two lightweights will get it on at UFC 80 for the vacant lightweight title. Penn is one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world, while Stevenson has been quickly climbing the ladder since he won The Ultimate Fighter 2. Don't be surprised to see this fight stay on the ground, but that doesn't mean it won't be entertaining. Penn has stated that he would like to be the first UFC fighter to hold both the lightweight and welterweight titles. He'll accomplish one of those feats, and live up to his nickname, 'The Prodigy', with a win over Joe Daddy.

Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir: This is probably the biggest UFC debut ever. The former WWE Champ will take on the former UFC Heavyweight Champ at UFC 81 on Super Bowl weekend. Personally, I think Lesnar will be a boring fighter. He's primarily a wrestler, and wrestlers tend to be boring MMA fighters. I'd imagine he's working hard on all aspects of his game though, so hopefully he proves me wrong. The winner of this one will be a win or two away from a title shot in the wide open Heavyweight division.

Tim Silva vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira: It's not signed yet, but it appears these two will fight for the vacated Heavyweight Championship at UFC 81. Silva is no stranger to UFC fans, while Nogerira only has one UFC fight under his belt. Nogerira is regarded as one of the world's top heavyweights after a very successful run in Pride. This fight has great potential if Silva can get back to being the headhunting fighter that he used to be.

Anderson Silva vs. Dan Henderson: Finally! The UFC got this one right, by convincing Dan Henderson to drop down to 185 lbs to take on Silva. When Pride folded, Henderson held both the Light Heavyweight and Middleweight Championships, so he'll be a real threat to beat The Spider. Since entering the UFC, Silva hasn't had much competition, and has walked through everyone he's faced. Henderson is a great all around fighter, with Olympic quality wrestling skills. This will be a great MMA fight.

Rampage Jackson vs. Forrest Griffin: It was recently announced that these two will be the coaches on The Ultimate Fighter season 7, which begins airing in April, then they will fight for the Light Heavyweight title. There's no reason why this fight won't be great. Although Rampage is the better all around fighter, Forrest loves to swing for the fences, and he rarely disappoints his fans. No one thought he could beat Shogun, and he proved all his doubters wrong. Rampage actually got the living crap kicked out of him by Shogun, so this fight could easily go either way. Having these two as the coaches of TUF 7 should help bring some renewed life to one of televisions best reality shows.

Fights that should happen

- The winner of George St. Pierre/Matt Hughes vs. Matt Serra (This fight will most likely take place in Montreal in April if GSP beats Hughes)
-The winner of B.J. Penn/Joe Stevenson vs. Sean Sherk

-Mauricio 'Shogun' Rua vs. Keith Jardine
-Roger Huerta vs. Kenny Florian
-John Fitch vs. Karo Parisyan
-Rich Franklin vs. Travis Lutter
-Tito Ortiz vs. Rashad Evans

So, as you can see the early 2008 line-up is looking pretty good. As we've learned from 2007, nothing is ever for sure. If this time last year I told you that two of the UFC's titles would be vacated, and Matt Serra, Anderson Silva, and Rampage Jackson were the champions of their weight classes you'd probably tell me I'm nuts. Well, the UFC is nuts and that's what makes it so great. What happens next weekend at UFC 79 will go a long way to determining some of the groundwork for 2008. Make sure to check back this time next week for my preview and predictions for that event. Feel free to leave comments on who you think will win some of these future fights, plus what you hope to see in 2008.
-Joe Osborne

Go Play Somewhere Else

Trade demands. We hear them all the time. Athletes sacrifice looking like huge babies for a chance at playing in a better situation. Some athletes choose to speak up when they're not happy, while others decide to suck it up and play out their contract. Here's a few players who's lives and careers could improve drastically if they'd demand a trade and end up on another team.

Alexander Ovechkin: The Russian Assassin is the most exciting and explosive player in the NHL, but the team he plays for is among the worst in the league for attendance. When the Caps are on the road, they sell out arenas because real fans want to see Ovechkin play, but people in Washington just don't care. Both Ovechkin and the NHL would greatly benefit if he were playing in a major hockey city. The NHL promotes Ovechkin as one of the 'faces' of the league, it's just too bad he plays on a pathetic team, who probably shouldn't even have a franchise.

Andre Iguodala: Iggy is expected to be 'the man' on the Sixers, but he's much better suited to be a second option. The Sixers are in rebuilding mode, and it appears they will be for awhile. Carrying this lousy team on his back will only result in bitterness, and a low shooting percentage due to taking the majority of the teams shots. Imagine Iguodala flying down the wing playing with one of the league's best point guards, and having someone else to attract double teams. He'd be an even bigger highlight machine than he is now.

Jason Bay: The Pittsburgh Pirates have been rebuilding their team for the past 15 years. Well, it appears that way. People don't even know who Jason Bay is because he's playing for one of sports most insignificant franchises. Bay has shown over the past few seasons that he's one of the games most complete players. His career would benefit immensely if he played for a team where he could be surrounded by talent, and have some decent protection. Try to name three other players on the Pirates. It's not easy!

Lebron James: Carmelo has A.I., Nash has Marion and Amare, Pierce has Allen and Garnett, Lebron has... Anderson Varejao? All the major contenders in the league have more than one perennial all-star, but that's not the case with the Cavs. They've had a few years to surround King James with some talent, and they've done a horrible job at doing so. Donyell Marshall, Larry Hughes, and Drew Gooden are just a few of the 'big' names they've added in the Lebron era. People jumped for joy when Varejao returned to the court this season to give Lebron help. Give me a break, Varejao isn't even as good as Kris Humphries of the Raptors. The bottom line is Lebron will need some talent around him if he wants to win championships. Kobe realized he can't get it done all by himself, and Lebron will realize that too. Lebron probably won't demand a trade anytime soon, but it's hard to imagine him in a Cavs uniform once his contract expires.

Carson Palmer: Palmer is the third best passer in the league, and not too far behind Brady and Manning. His stats don't necessarily show this though, because he plays on one of sports most unstable franchises. Palmer is a classy guy with a great work ethic, but he shares a locker room with a bunch of bone heads who can't keep themselves out of handcuffs. Palmer has the potential to be a future legend, but he'll have to be in another uniform to do so.

Grimace: How's is Grimace supposed to get any attention when he's riding the coat tails of Ronald McDonald? The only time he's in the spotlight is when he's named as an accomplice in one of the Hamburglar's crimes, or when he's rumored to be in a gay relationship with Patrick from Sponge Bob Square Pants. There's plenty of fast food restaurants that don't have a mascot. Grimmace should look to branch out before he ends up on death row after being blamed for a murder committed by the Hamburglar.
-Joe Osborne

Tuesday's Top Ten: Best Goal Scorers in the NHL

Nothing gets a sports fan more excited than a highlight reel goal. Well, maybe a game breaking touchdown does, or a monster home run, or maybe a posterizing dunk, or... The point is, fans love goals. The NHL changed the rules so we'd see more of them. What makes a goal so exciting is that it can unexpectedly happen in a split second, or we can see it develop and already know the result before the puck hits the net. Let's see who makes my list of the top ten goal scorers in the NHL.

10. Jaromir Jagr: His production may be a little off this season due to nagging injuries, but he's unstoppable at 100%. This is Jagr's 17th season in the NHL. In all of those season except his rookie year he has scored 30 or more goals. That's incredible, and the definition of consistent.

9. Martin St. Louis: The 5'9'' winger seems to always be in the right place at the right time. He has 30 or more goals the past four seasons, and he appears to be well on track again this year with 12.

8. Marian Hossa: He seems to go largely unnoticed due to playing with flashier players with big personalities, but make no mistake about it, he's one of the best in the league. He scored 45 goals last season as well as 45 in the 2002-2003 season. He's probably the best player in the league at scoring goals off of face-offs.

7. Sidney Crosby: Uneducated hockey fans would expect Sid the Kid to be higher on this list, but he's actually more of a play maker than a sniper. He's still great at putting the puck in the back of the net though. Watch his highlights and you'll see he can score anyway or anyhow. From his knees, on his back, batting pucks out of the air. He'd be higher on this list if he was more selfish.

6. Jarome Iginla: A real force on the ice, and very hard to stop. Iginla is a true power forward that has scored 35 goals or more five seasons in a row. Imagine how much better he'd be if he had some actual offensive talent around him.

5. Henrik Zetterberg: So far this season he's the NHL's most improved player. No one scores prettier breakaway goals. He has so many tricks up his sleeve, and routinely embarrasses goalies. He has 24 goals in 33 games this season, which is phenomenal by today's standards.

4. Vincent Lecavalier: This guy can score from anywhere on the ice. He has pin point accuracy when he's in close, or he can rip one from the blue line. He led the league with 52 goals last season, and is only showing signs of getting better with 22 so far this season.

3. Alexander Ovechkin: Possibly the league's most exciting player, playing on one of the lousiest teams, Ovechkin is a one man gang on the ice. No player in the league does so much by himself. In his first two seasons he's scored an impressive 98 goals. He's so good at creating scoring opportunities for himself and will only get better.

2. Dany Heatley: The Senator's sharp shooter has scored 50 goals two seasons in a row. He's an incredible finisher, with close to a 20% shooting percentage this season. He makes things look remarkably easy. A goalie will know what he's gonna do, he'll do it anyways, and score.

1. Ilya Kovalchuk: This man can do it all. He has the accuracy of Heatley and the moves of Zetterberg. When he's breaking down the wing, it's practically a given that he's gonna snap the puck top shelf and score, and goalies have no answer for him. He leads the league with 26 goals so far this season, and has scored 202 in five full seasons. It's rare that a player who gets between 70 to 100 points a season to have more goals than assists. Kovalchuk always finishes the season with more goals. He's a pure goal scorer, and he's better than anyone else in the league at doing it.

Close but no cigar: Joe Sakic, Evgeni Malkin, Pavel Datsyuk, Rick Nash, Daniel Alfredson.
-Joe Osborne

Jim Rome is Burning

Video Courtesy of ESPN

Friday's Fives

Top Five

1.Steve Nash: In his last five games the Suns point guard has averaged 15.4 assists and has been perfect from the free throw line. On Wednesday night against the Jazz he had 29 points, 11 assists, 6 rebounds, and 1 chipped tooth. This guy is good, not too mention pretty damn tough.

2. Joffrey Lupul: After scoring just two points in his last eight games, he had three goals and three assist on Tuesday night against the Penguins.

3. Detroit Red Wings: Detroit is very quietly having another great season. They lead the league with a 22-6 record and in their last 10 games they're 7-1-2. By the way, how good are Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk? These two guys embarrass goaltenders and defensemen on a regular basis.

4. New England Patriots: After a few close calls against the Eagles and Ravens, the Pats got back to normal by laying the smack down on the Steelers. They were clicking on all cylinders, and look well on their way to a perfect season. I feel bad for the Jets this weekend. Actually, I don't, it should be fun watching them get their asses handed to them.

5. Portland Trail Blazers: Yes, the Blazers have made the good part of this list. The team has now won five games in a row, including wins against Utah and Golden State. If they can keep this core group of young players together they have a very bright future, and Greg Oden is still waiting in the wings.

Bottom Five

5. Pittsburgh Penguins: How mediocre have they looked this season? They've looked pathetic their past few games, especially in an 8-2 loss to the Flyers. To make matters worse, their starting goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury is injured and will be out for six to eight weeks. Ouch!

4. Detroit Lions: Speaking of bad teams, what the hell happend to the Lions? They started the season 6-2, but have now lost five games in a row. It looks like they'll have to wait another year to not make the playoffs. By the way, how many life's does Matt Millen have?

3. Penny Hardaway: Shaq's first sidekick was cut this week by the Miami Heat so they could make room for Luke Jackson. Who? Has any athlete in recent memory had a bigger fall then Penny? He was easily as big as Lebron before injuries derailed his career.

2. Bobby Petrino: What a chump this guy is. Petrino did his best Nick Saban impression and quit on his team to go back to college. What makes Petrino worse is that he quit on the Falcons with three games left in the season, only 13 games into a five year contract. Why would anyone want a coach with zero integrity?

1. Roger Clemens: Well, it looks like Barry Bonds won't be the only legend who might have trouble getting into the Hall of Fame. It appears Rocket Roger had his rocket fuel injected directly into his ass with a syringe. No big shock, it just gives people another reason to hate him.

Somewhere in the Middle: Is anyone really surprised that John Rocker was included on the list of steroid users? The guy would do a full sprint from the bullpen to the mound every time he was called in to pitch. Good for him though for being able to keep his name in the news.

Have a great weekend!

-Joe Osborne

The Mitchell Report Named Names - Here They Are!

The long awaited Mitchell Report was released today naming a lengthy list of former and current Major League Baseball players that have been linked to performance enhancing drugs such as steroids and HGH. The most prominent name on the list was Roger Clemens who reportedly began using steroids at the end of the 1998 season. The list also included current Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte, and All-Star second basemen Brian Roberts of the Baltimore Orioles.

Other players included on the list:Barry Bonds(obviously), Gary Sheffield, Troy Glaus, Gary Matthews Jr., Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons, Mo Vaughn, David Justice, Paul Lo Duca, Eric Gagne, Glenallen Hill, Gregg Zaun, Rondell White, Hal Morris, Todd Hundley, Larry Bigbie, Lenny Dykstra, David Segui, Kevin Brown, Mike Lansing, Wally Joyner, Jeremy Giambi, Benito Santiago, Denny Neagle, Ron Villone, Fernando Vina, Todd Pratt, Jack Cust, Matt Williams, John Rocker, Paul Byrd, F.P. Santangelo and Randy Velarde.

As you can see the list included some pretty big names. Whether you care or not about steroid use, the fallout from this is gonna be huge. Should Clemens not be voted into the Hall of Fame now? What about the records players have set and awards they have won? Let the debates begin. This is a big huge mess for Major League Baseball. My advice for commissioner Bug Selig - Retire! That probably won't happen, but whatever happens, Major League Baseball and these players will be in the headlines all winter long.

-Joe Osborne

Blackhawks and Panthers Combine Teams to Become 'The Black Panthers'

In a cost saving move, The Chicago Blackhawks and Florida Panthers of the NHL will merge their teams into one, and will now be known as 'The Black Panthers'. The newly formed team also announced that they have traded for Donald Brasher, Georges Laraque, Jerome Iginla, Jamal Mayers, Ray Emery, Anson Carter, and Kevin Weeks. The team also announced that former NHL goaltender Fred Braithwaite will come out of retirement to serve as a third goaltender. “This is a groundbreaking day for the NHL,” said newly appointed head coach Rev. Al Sharpton. “When Black Panthers are in town, questions will be answered and there will be a price to pay.” To fill the remainder of their roster, the team has invited players from the NBADL and members of the Wu-Tang Clan to an open tryout.

At The End Of The First Quarter

The 2007-08 NBA season is now a quarter done, and needless to say this season has provided plenty of intrigue and excitement. No one has broken any records, scored 81 points, or ran into the crowd to fight fans, but there has been plenty of competitive games, breakout player and teams, and breathtaking highlights. Here's a few observations from the season so far, and a look ahead to what we can look forward to.

-The Bulls should have traded for Kobe Bryant. The team is 7-12 and looks extremely disoriented. The team has been manhandled by their competition so far this season, and with the exception of beating the Pistons twice, they've only managed to beat lottery bound teams. They should have pulled the trigger when they had their chance, as the Lakers probably won't be trading Kobe anytime soon. If the Bulls miss the playoffs they should consider some major front office shake ups for letting Kobe slip through their fingers.

-Dwight Howard is the best center in the league and will be for a long time. In his fourth NBA season, Howard's tremendous potential has reached fruition as he's now one of the NBA's best players. Howard does exactly what a center is supposed to do, and he does it better than anyone else. He leads the league in rebounds, he blocks shots, and he shoot for a very high percentage. Howard is just as important to the Magic as Lebron is to the Cavs or Nash is to the Suns.

-The Celtics are the best team in the league. Before the season started a lot of people doubted the Celtics, and didn't consider them a serious contender. Well, a 17-2 record should erase any doubts anyone had. Skeptics will say that they've had an easy schedule so far, but so what, they're 17-2. The 'Big Three' have done an excellent job sharing the ball, and the team has put defense first. Baring any major injuries, the good times will continue to roll in beantown.

-The Knicks suck. No team in sports is a bigger waste of talent. The team has so much individual talent, but as a team they're horrible. The team is filled with selfish players who play one on one basketball, and has a head coach who's legacy is tarnished night after night. There's two things the Knicks don't understand- team work, and the concept of rebuilding. Instead of trading away draft picks for Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph and building the team around ball hogs like Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford the Knicks should have started from scratch. And oh yeah, they should fire Isiah Thomas.

Other observations in brief: The Warriors are very fun to watch, the Rockets are a very average team, the Heat won't make the playoffs unless they can swing a major deal, the Hornets and Magic look great, the Raptors have a very deep bench, and Chris Kaman is the most underrated player in the league.

Here's who should start in the All-Star Game based on their stats and contribution to their teams so far this season.

EAST WEST
C- Dwight Howard C- Marcus Camby
F- Lebron James F- Shawn Marion
F- Kevin Garnett F- Carlos Boozer
G- Jason Kidd G- Baron Davis
G- Paul Pierce G- Steve Nash

The season is still young, but unlike most other sports the NBA seems somewhat easy to predict. Even though some things are a given, I'm sure there's still a few surprises in store and plenty of on and off court excitement to come. Enjoy the second quarter of the season, and I'll be sure to take another in-depth look at the league at the All-Star Break.

-Joe Osborne

Tuesday's Top Ten: Wide Receivers

Going into the 2007 NFL season all the talk was about running backs. In the majority of fantasy drafts the top ten spots were reserved for running backs, but few have lived up to their hype. With only three weeks remaining in the regular season, wide receivers have stolen the spotlight and the highlights away from the majority of the leagues over rated running backs. Wide receiver is easily the flashiest position in any sport, so let's take a look at the Top Ten receivers in the NFL.

10.Andre Johnson: The Texans receiver might not be the most recognizable name in the NFL because of injuries, and because he plays for the Texans, but his production speaks for itself. Last season he led the league in receptions, and in six games this season he has 617 yards and six touchdowns. If he can stay healthy he'll be one of the league's top receivers for years to come.

9.T.J. Houshmandzadeh: He's probably the most underrated player in the league because he shares the field with the mouthiest showoff in the league. To the surprise of many, Houshmandzadeh leads the league in receptions and is fourth in touchdowns. Put him on most teams and he'd be their best receiver.

8.Torry Holt: One word - Consistency. Year after year, Holt is always among to top receivers in all the important categories. I think it's fair to say that his best years are behind him, but he still gets the job done by staying off the injured list, and with excellent speed and top notch route running.

7. Marvin Harrison: Just because he's been injured doesn't mean he should be excluded from this list. Last year he was second in both receiving yards and touchdowns. Harrison is also fourth all-time in receiving yards and third all-time in receiving touchdowns. He hasn't made much of an impact this season, but it looks like he'll be back just in time for the playoffs.

6. Larry Fitzgerald: The fourth year receiver gets better every season. This season he is fifth in both yards and receptions. Fitzgerald uses his size and jumping ability to out play secondaries, and would be higher on this list if he had a better quarterback to play with.

5. Braylon Edwards: After two so-so seasons, Edwards is tearing it up for the Browns. Edwards makes phenomenal catches week after week and is making opposing defenses look foolish. He's currently sixth in receiving yards and third in touchdowns.

4. Reggie Wayne: Batman, as he's known throughout the league is a machine. He's done an incredible job while Marvin Harrison has been out, and is now the top receiver on the Colts. He catches balls in traffic better than anyone in the league and is the ultimate team player, which is something you can't say about most guys on this list.

3. Chad Johnson: Ocho Cinco has a bigger mouth than anyone in sports, but he can back in up. Last season he led the league in yards, and he's fourth this year. He also sets crazy blocks and has a reputation as one of the toughest receivers in football. His touchdown celebrations aren't as good as they used to be, but no defense wants to play against him.

2.Terrell Owens: After a slightly above average season last year, T.O. Has regained the form that makes him one of the best of all-time. He's done less talking and more playing, and he's been next to unstoppable. He currently leads the league in receiving yards and is second in touchdowns. He's also fourth all-time in receiving touchdowns and it doesn't look like he's gonna slow down anytime soon.

1. Randy Moss: This man can do in all. He's the top deep threat in the NFL,he can catch balls in traffic, he runs short routes with excellent precision, and he's a great blocker too. Moss has unmatched athleticism as he can out jump anyone in the league, not to mention he can out run almost anyone in the league. Moss had three games left to beat Jerry Rice's record of 22 receiving touchdowns in a season. He leads the league with 19, and is second in yards. Moss also has the fifth most touchdowns ever for a receiver, and stands a chance of breaking some records if he stays healthy and has Tom Brady throwing him the ball.
-Joe Osborne

Video of the Day: Lil' Penny

Rumor has it Lil' Penny fell into a dark lifestyle and began hanging out with Gargamel from the Smurfs and Grumpy Bear from the Care Bears. Soon after he was murdered over drug debts.

Video of the Day: Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?

Friday's Fives

Top Five

1-Detroit Tigers: When everyone else was busy talking about Johan Santana, The Tigers were busy pulling off a blockbuster deal for Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. Cabrera is easily one of the top hitters in the game, while Willis has shown that he can be dominant. The Tigers now look like the favorite to win the AL Central. It's great to see a team not worry so much about prospects, and worry about the present.

2-Allen Iverson: The Answer fell off the radar a little bit when he was traded to Denver, but he appears to be on his way to one of his finer seasons. Earlier in the week he scored a league season high 51 points, and last night he filled the score sheet again with 35 points, 12 assists, and 6 steals. I'd sure hate to choose between him and Zydrunas Ilgauskas.

3-New Jersey Devils: Has anyone noticed that the Devils are currently riding an eight game win streak, and are tied for third in the East? Not bad for a team that was wrote off by so many 'experts'.

4-Detroit Pistons: The boys from the Motor City have won five in a row, including four wins in five nights this week. The streak should go to six games after they play the Bulls tonight.

5-Toronto Maple Leafs: Yes, that's right, the Leafs have made this list. Everyone's favorite punching bag (including mine) have now won four games in a row. It should be interesting to see who their next scapegoat will be when they start loosing again. Sorry Leafs fans, it's just hard for me to mention them without taking some kind of cheap shot.

Bottom Five

5-Colorado Avalanche: I thought Joe Sakic and Co. were supposed to get back towards the top of the conference this year. Not the case. The team has lost seven of it's last ten games. I wonder if Peter Forsberg is available yet?

4-Charlotte Bobcats & L.A. Clippers: Both teams have been ravaged by injuries, and both have lost seven in a row. It doesn't appear as if the Bobcats will ever be good, and the Clippers could be a season or two away from once again being the laughing stock of the league.

3-Reggie Bush: Is it fair to say that Bush is the most overrated player in the NFL? He is yet to live up to his hype, but maybe the Saints just aren't using him right. Bush's fumble in the final minutes of last Sunday's game against the Bucs cost his team the game, and maybe a playoff spot.

2-Sean Sherk: The California State Athletic Commission decided in their final hearing that the UFC Lightweight Champ did indeed have steroids in his system the last time he fought. So what does the UFC do? Absolutely nothing. Doesn't it set a bad precedent to not punish someone, especially a champion for being guilty of taking steroids? Sherk should be stripped of his title and suspended for a year. Using steroids in baseball is one thing, but they shouldn't be tolerated in a sport where the objective is to physically hurt your opponent.

1-Baltimore Ravens: What a bunch of babies. The Ravens are still crying about the refs from Monday's loss to the Patriots. Was it the refs who threw a late 4th quarter interception to let the Pats back in it? Was it the refs who couldn't stop New England's last minute drive? Was it the refs who called a stupid time out to cost the Ravens the game? Nope, it was the bitter, and washed up Ravens.

Somewhere in the middle: Did anyone see in the Redskins-Bears game last night when the fan ran onto the field? Usually when this type of thing happens, the camera's always cut away, but not this time. Why is it that when a fan runs on the field, they never choose to show it on TV? Everyone wants to see it, and it's always worth a good laugh. Props to the NFL Network for showing us fans what we want to see.

Have a great weekend!
-Joe Osborne

ESPN Fantasy Football Focus

Video Courtesy of ESPN

Video of the Day: Big Fight This Weekend

I almost forgot that boxing still existed. Like most big fights, there's a ton of hype leading up to this one. It seems to me like most people just don't care about boxing any more. There's hardly any big names, and the fights seem to never live up to their expectations. With the emergence of the UFC, boxing desperately needs to find some new superstars if it hopes to compete.

Video of the Day: Top College Prospects

Video Courtesy of ESPN

Tuesday's Top Ten: Best Ways To Get Fired

I know I always do a sports related top ten, but I thought I'd change things up with some suggestions of good ways to get fired from your job. You might find some of them funny, and you might be offended, but that's the idea! Behold, the top ten best ways to get fired from your job!

10. Refuse to adhere to your works scent policy by wearing large amount of cologne. When people complain, demand that your work reimburses you for the money you spent on the cologne. If they refuse, threaten to commit suicide.

9. Begin renting out the office for sex addicts anonymous meetings. If meetings become a success, begin renting out the office for large, inter-racial orgies.

8. Find an interesting way to spread an STD. While your at it, spread a virus to all the computers because computers can't have sex.

7. Replace your bosses Advil with ecstasy. When they become high, call the police and accuse them of sexual harassment.

6. On casual day, show up to work completely naked with a fake tattoo of a large arrow pointed towards your crotch. Accuse male and female co-workers of desperately wanting to be impregnated by you, and repeatedly yell 'you wish biatch!'

5. Gather all of your co-workers into one area and do your best impressions of Michael Richards, Don Imus, Tim Hardaway, and Mel Gibson. When people accuse you of being a racist bigot, threaten to commit suicide.

4. Introduce several of your co-workers and their kids to crystal meth. Since they're probably unfamiliar with the drug, you can over charge them

3. Fake your own death by having a friend call in to say you were the victim of a violent hate crime. When people show up to your funeral, jump out of the casket and yell “You just got punk'd!”, then yell at them for not bringing 'funeral gifts'.

2. Make all new employees take part in a violent gang initiation. Initiation includes a brutal beating, a robbery and arson at a local thrift store, a week long coke binge, and the final test - public urination in front of an elementary school.

1. Break into your bosses email and send out penis enlargement emails to the entire office and his clients. Also, change your bosses voice mail message claiming he is now running the penis enlargement hot line.

Feel free to leave a comment on something you think would be a good way to get fired. Happy Hanukkah!

-Joe Osborne

Video of the Day: Jim Rome is Burning

Video courtesy of ESPN

Straight Up Made Up

Sean Taylor's murderer to be suspended and fined by the NFL

Shortly before the start of yesterday's games, NFL commissioner Roger Goddell announced that the person or persons responsible for the murder of Redskins safety Sean Taylor would be fined and suspended by the NFL. “I've made it clear since day one that off field conduct such as steroid use and murder are completely unacceptable. Whoever is responsible for the death of Sean Taylor can expect to receive a hefty fine and lengthy suspension”. When the suspension and fine is handed down, Goddell can expect to hear from the executive director of the NFL Players Association Gene Upshaw, who says he will attempt to eliminate or reduce any suspension or fine. “Come on now. Where in the NFL rule book does it say that murder violates league rules? It's not like these guys are illegally video taping other teams or doing elaborate touchdown celebrations. Plus, from what I know the suspects have never been in trouble with the league before, so it would be a first time offense.” Reaction to Goddell's decision to penalize the murderer(s) was mixed among members of the media. “It's part of the culture down there” said former Cowboys receiver Michael Irving, while ESPN's John Clayton disagrees, “Murder has no place in the NFL. That type of thing should only happen in places like Harlem or Compton...Or even in third world countries”. No word yet on whether of not Adam 'Pacman' Jones was involved with the murder, but the league plans to investigate.

Jump ball specialist ranks #1 in early NBA mock drafts

While OJ Mayo and Michael Beasley are stealing the college basketball headlines, Simon Winchester, who is a senior at Maryland Technical College in North Baltimore is dominating one area of the game, and NBA scouts are noticing. “Winchester has won almost 90% of jump balls so far this season” says an NBA scout who asked not to be named. “That type of thing is so valuable. Whoever gets first ball in an NBA game can make a huge difference.” Although Winchester leads the nation in jump ball percentage, other area's of his game such as scoring, rebounding, defense, dribbling, and endurance need some major work. “Small things like scoring ability and rebounding come with time and experience” said the scout. “But having the ability to win jump ball's give you a huge advantage. You have to wonder how things would have worked out in the Finals last year had Lebron James been able to secure the first possession for the Cavs. I guess that's just not part of his game.” NBA scouts and executives are also impressed with the jump ball czar's level of maturity as he was recently promoted to weekend shift supervisor at a Baltimore Arby's. “Simon's success on the court has translated to success in the fast food business” said Arby's manager Paul Deluney. “If things don't work out with the NBA, he has a very bright future here at Arby's.” Continuing his pace will all but assure the first overall selection in the NBA draft for Winchester, and his manager at Arby's think he'll be just fine. “As long as he takes things one jump ball at at time! Hahaha!”

Tampa Bay Rays to hire new locker room attendant

The winds of change are rolling through Tampa Bay. First a new name, and new uniforms, now the team is looking for a new locker room attendant. “One thing we really want to instill with our new look team is a winning attitude”, says team president Matt Silverman. “It all starts from the ground up, and this is the type of thing that will help us compete with the Sox and Yankees”. The job was posted today on local grocery and convenience store bulletin boards, and the successful candidate will have to be qualified with at least three years of janitorial experience. “We want someone who's had success and lots of experience. Also a great attendance record and a good personality are must haves.” Rays Center Fielder Carl Crawford says the hiring could be the first step in the right direction. “This just shows management is taking things seriously. We're used to having a dingy looking locker room, but all that is about to change. Rumor has it that management is looking into buying a Dirt Devil vacuum. Having a big name like that associated with the team will show immediate results.” The team also announced that the new attendant will have state of the art supplies to use such as Mr. Clean and Windex cleaning products. In other news the Rays have put all their proven talent on the trade block in attempts to lower their team salary.
-Joe Osborne
*The above stories are completly fictional and intended solely for humor.

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Gonna be crazy!