If you could go back and talk to your parents before they gave you a name, what would you tell them? Most people probably wouldn't change a thing about their name, but the fact of the matter is that there are a ton of horrendous names out there. For every few Steve's there's a Eugene, for every couple of Mike's there's a weirdo named Oliver, and for every few Tom's there's a poor guy who automatically gets labelled as a child molester just because his name is Lester. I could go on and on about all the bad first names that exist, but none of them compare to the man who has the worst, most humiliating name ever. This man is a member of the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame, he's won over 300 games, and owns two Cy Young awards. So what's his name you ask? The name of this baseball legend is Gaylord Perry.
Looking at Gaylord Perry's career stats it's not hard to be impressed. In a 22 year career that started in 1962, Gaylord pitched for 8 different teams, he had 314 wins, 3534 strikeouts, and is one of only four pitchers to win a Cy Young in both the American and National League. And he also had a brother. The name of his was Jim. Could you imagine how pissed off you'd be if your parents named you Gaylord, and then gave your brother a name like Jim. How's that for favoritism?
I decided to do a little bit of research on Gaylord to figure out what kind of guy he was. According to
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/ Gaylord
truly lived up to his name as he was known for his blatant use of the spitball, the Vaseline ball, the Preparation H ball and sometimes the KY Jelly ball. A Gaylord and a tub of KY Jelly doesn't sound like a
guy who used to strike people out for a living. Here's a few interesting quotes I found about Gaylord-
"He should be in the Hall of Fame with a tube of KY jelly attached to his plaque." -
Gene Mauch"When you walk by, he smells like a drugstore." -
Billy MartinEnough about Gaylord's baseball career. I'm just wondering why in the hell a parent would name their kid Gaylord. Imagine going through life constantly being teased about your sexual orientation. Stop for a minute and think about everything you've accomplished in your life. All the joy and success and fun times with friends. Now think about how much different your life would be if your name was Gaylord. I bet Gaylord Perry's life would have been much different if he didn't have the god given talent to pitch. I guess it just boggles my mind how a parent could name their child after a derogatory word for a homosexual. Some people are just weird I guess.
I know that my name isn't that unique, and it's about as normal as it gets. I'm happy that my name isn't Gaylord and that people don't call me a gay lord, but I bet Gaylord Perry is happy that he's lived a life that thousands can only dream of. It's impossible to go through life without having some bad mixed in with all the good. Gaylord Perry has had a pretty impressive career, it's just too bad his name is Gaylord.
